The holidays are often described as a season of joy, togetherness, and tradition. Yet for many families who have lost a loved one, this time of year can feel painfully different. When someone is missing from the table, the silence can be louder than the music, and the memories can feel overwhelming.

If you are grieving during the holidays, please know this: there is nothing wrong with how you are feeling.

Why the holidays can be so hard
Holidays tend to magnify loss. Traditions that once brought comfort may now serve as reminders of what has changed. Familiar routines, special recipes, favorite songs, and family gatherings can all stir deep emotions. Even those who felt they were coping well may find grief resurfacing unexpectedly during this season.

Grief is not something that follows a calendar. It does not pause for holidays, nor does it follow a timeline.

Giving yourself permission
One of the most important things you can do is give yourself permission to grieve in your own way. You do not have to attend every gathering. You do not have to be cheerful. You do not have to explain yourself to anyone.

It is okay to say no.
It is okay to leave early.
It is okay to create new traditions or skip old ones altogether.

Some families find comfort in honoring their loved one during the holidays, while others find it easier to keep things simple. Both choices are valid.

Ways to honor a loved one during the holidays
For those who find comfort in remembrance, small gestures can feel meaningful without being overwhelming:

Lighting a candle in their memory
Setting out a photo or keepsake
Preparing a favorite dish they loved
Visiting a gravesite or special place
Sharing stories or memories quietly with family

There is no “right” way to remember someone. What matters is what feels right to you.

Supporting children through holiday grief
Children often experience grief differently, especially during the holidays. They may have moments of sadness mixed with play or laughter. Honest, age-appropriate conversations can help them feel safe expressing their emotions.

Let them know it is okay to feel sad, confused, or even happy at times. Grief does not mean forgetting, and moments of joy do not mean they loved the person any less.

Finding moments of peace
You may not feel joyful this holiday season, and that is okay. Instead of striving for happiness, consider focusing on moments of peace. A quiet walk, a warm cup of coffee, a few deep breaths, or simply resting can be enough.

Grief is love that has nowhere to go. Be gentle with yourself.

You are not alone
If the holidays feel especially heavy, please know that support is available. Funeral homes are not just here at the time of loss we remain here for families long after services have ended.

If you need a listening ear, resources, or guidance, we are always here to help.